I find that maintaining a relationship with God to be difficult and fleeting. The problem I encounter is continuing to seek after God when there appears to be no reciprocal response. I almost enter into a state of unbelief at times because it seems that whether I am praying or not there is nothing to confirm God's attention to my seeking after him. Rationally, I continue to believe in the existence of God, primarily through my observance of the creation and the compelling testimony of the scriptures. But it is difficult to remain in faith when there is no apparent response. In times of faithfulness the only thing I note is my own seeking and my own devotion. I do not notice any real difference in any tangible way of communication from God towards me. Perhaps faith demands that we continue when there is nothing to confirm the existence of God in our hearts. I believe it was Moltmann who said that faith most often works contrary to experience. A religion that constantly seeks confirmation through experience isn't really operating on the basis of faith. However, how difficult it is to maintain faith when God seems to remain silent. Seldom do I doubt God's existence but I do have difficulty understanding the way in which God deals with us. In all honesty, I notice no difference from God's side in my relationship with him whether I am in active pursuit of a meaningful devotional life or whether I live my life simply with an awareness of him. The only difference seems to be from my own side--whether I want to spend time in prayer and devotion or not. I can be very fervent in my devotional life, or very negligent. The response from God to my soul does not seem to change. For me, private devotion is difficult, simply because I do not receive from God any response which I can clearly attribute to him. "Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief."
posted by bill rosser @ 9:51 PM
11 Comments:
From what I read, Mother Teresa had the same issue....
Hello Bill,
I have not been on your blog in a while but have wondered how you are. Your testimonial leaves little room for helpful response. Undoubtedly it reflects the experience of many.
What is to be said in response? Not much is helpful but I wish you well. And may the prayers of Paul calling for enlightenment be more than comfort...may they be tranferred into your experience.
Faith does indeed work contrary to experience...though I do not know what Moltmann was referencing. But faith is a response to a God who speaks. Thus even the writer of Hebrews surmises ...."Today! if you hear his voice..." So perhaps you will accept the posit that He is a speaking God.
There was a guy pastoring in Albuquerque who wrote a wonderful book "The Word and Power Church" by Doug Banister. I think you would like the humanity and personal quest of his writing.
Don't you miss Dr. Barnard and wish you could converse with him as a man with many years behind you. The conversations would be far richer than the pedantic questions we peppered him with. He constantly made references that ring within us over the years. He spoke so often of the experience of Christ and of the spiritual life.
Bless you Bill.
alan
Thanks to both for your comments. It is amazing that God has chosen to work in such a way that is beyond rational or scientific verification. After 2000 years we still must walk by faith. My faith remains mostly strong but my frustration comes from the need for experiencial confirmation. Perhaps that is a sign of faithlessness ("whom having not seen you love"). Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.
This is good stuff-sad, but true. It seems as if 'the silence of God' is the norm. How, when and why God communicates with men remains a mystery, making it difficult for the faithful but also making us leery of anyone claiming to 'speak for God.'
Your experience is shared by many within the evangelical church but it is verbalized by precious few.
I'm wondering if God's reason for creating the church is to help and encourage his people during the excruciating times when God seems to be silent.
I, for one, am greatly encouraged by your honesty.
Andrew Peterson is also a young poet/song-writer who exhibits the same transparency in his writing as you do in yours.
He wrote a song some time back that was recorded by Michael Card. My prayer is that Peterson's lyrics will encourage your heart as they encourage my own.
The Silence of God
It's enough to drive a man crazy; it'll break a man's faith. It's enough to make him wonder if he's ever been sane.
When he's bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod and the heaven's only answer is the silence of God.
It'll shake a man's timbers when he loses his heart, when he has to remember what broke him apart.
This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not, when the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God.
And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob, who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they've got.
When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross, then what about the times when even followers get lost?
'Cause we all get lost sometimes...
There's a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll in the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold.
And He's kneeling in the garden, as silent as a stone. All His friends are sleeping and He's weeping all alone.
And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot what sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought.
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God, the aching may remain, but the breaking does not!
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not in the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God.
May God abundantly bless you!
Thank you for your encouraging comment. I suppose if the Lord uses my discouragement to encourage others I should be grateful. I'm not sure that I am discouraged as much as I am searching for answers concerning the ways of God with his people. Is the "joy unspeakable" due to one's recent experience with God or due simply to the knowledge of Christ's cross and resurrection? For me, at least for the present, it is more due to the latter. I know and believe and can even rejoice in Christ's death and resurrection on my behalf; I just find the ongoing experience of God to be difficult. I appreciate your response.
Personally, I can't anchor my joy in the temporal experiences of life because life is too unpredictable and I know how my story here will end.
True joy for me comes only by anchoring my faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Christ died for my sins and therefore I am not, nor will I ever be, condemned. Christ rose from the dead and therefore I am not, nor will I ever be, forsaken.
I have lamented my lack of faith in the past but recently I discovered that I actually have a great deal of faith--faith in myself. Today I am learning to place my faith in the faithful God who gave His Son to give me an unchanging hope.
But how long can you sustain your faith if the faithful God of the gospel does not give you present experience? That is the question I am struggling with. Perhaps it is a question of the Holy Spirit's place in our lives. Thank you for your comment.
I wonder if God dispenses present experiences in small measured quantities because they are addicting to the soul like heroin to the body.
When the town of Mansoul (Bunyan's Holy War) came into a great duress due to neglect of God they earnestly petitioned the prince to rescue them, and they petitioned and they petitioned. For a long, long, long time the prince gave no indication to them that he was listening to them. I've been amazed at how Bunyan understood these sort of things.
Nevertheless, however stoic and courageous we try to be in the absence of experiential confirmation from God, I don't believe we can last indefinitely if God doesn't confirm Himself to us by at least some token or another that comes to us in our present experience. Others can't give it to you, but sooner or later you've got to have it. In the meantime it is great for us to trust in His promises that He ultimately never forsakes us.
Well said and very much appreciated.
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