In all my training and most of my life I have thought that fellowship with God was something that could be precipitated by my faithful seeking. "Seek the Lord while he may be found." I have more recently been forced to discover that fellowship is a gift which God bestows at his pleasure. I had supposed that God could always be found. But what if he hides himself? What if the time comes when he cannot be found? No amount of Bible reading or prayer can uncover his presence. God reveals himself to whom he so desires at a time when he decides. We cannot find him by force of self or will. But we can faithfully wait in patience and hope, "looking unto Him, the author and finisher of our faith." And if and when God makes himself accessible for fellowship again it will be sweeter than before and it will be cherished as never before. "Every good and perfect give cometh from above." However God deals with me he remains Lord. According to Job, "though he slay me yet will I praise him."