I find that maintaining a relationship with God to be difficult and fleeting. The problem I encounter is continuing to seek after God when there appears to be no reciprocal response. I almost enter into a state of unbelief at times because it seems that whether I am praying or not there is nothing to confirm God's attention to my seeking after him. Rationally, I continue to believe in the existence of God, primarily through my observance of the creation and the compelling testimony of the scriptures. But it is difficult to remain in faith when there is no apparent response. In times of faithfulness the only thing I note is my own seeking and my own devotion. I do not notice any real difference in any tangible way of communication from God towards me. Perhaps faith demands that we continue when there is nothing to confirm the existence of God in our hearts. I believe it was Moltmann who said that faith most often works contrary to experience. A religion that constantly seeks confirmation through experience isn't really operating on the basis of faith. However, how difficult it is to maintain faith when God seems to remain silent. Seldom do I doubt God's existence but I do have difficulty understanding the way in which God deals with us. In all honesty, I notice no difference from God's side in my relationship with him whether I am in active pursuit of a meaningful devotional life or whether I live my life simply with an awareness of him. The only difference seems to be from my own side--whether I want to spend time in prayer and devotion or not. I can be very fervent in my devotional life, or very negligent. The response from God to my soul does not seem to change. For me, private devotion is difficult, simply because I do not receive from God any response which I can clearly attribute to him. "Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief."